Do you fear criticism?

The fear of criticism is one of the major fears, which you need to overcome in order to achieve notable success. If you get rid of fear, together with applying the principles of success, you will be on your way to greater achievement and ultimately a better life.

What criticism does

Criticism is not easily accepted in general. If you get criticized, fear of it tends to creep into your heart. That is because you don’t want to hear more criticism and start getting weary of the consequences of everything that you do.

Also, you may not realize that by using criticism on others, you cannot help them improve. So it is a good idea to stop using it altogether. This course of action is especially important when it comes to leaders. As a leader, if you are unable to help your team improve their skills, you are essentially failing at leadership.

When you are afraid to be criticized, you will be resenting to do the tasks required of you. That is because you want to avoid being subjected to more critique. So, by taking action when affected by this fear, you will likely end up with sub-optimal results. These results will then bring more criticism onto you and the vicious circle will continue.

Let’s see how you can determine if you are affected by criticism or are using it on others.

Self-evaluation questionnaire

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to identify the presence of this fear within yourself:

1. Are you always nervous?
2. Are you shy in conversations with other people and when you meet people for the first time?
3. Do you tend to make awkward movements in the presence of others?
4. Is your control over the tone of your voice lacking? The tone of your voice is extremely important in relation with others. Make sure you keep it under observation at all times.
5. Do you have bad posture? The way you stand, the way you sit at a table, the way you walk – all of these show your level of confidence in yourself, or the absence of it.
6. Are you not able to take firm decisions?
7. Do you confront problems, or are you used to side-stepping them?
8. Do you agree with others without careful examination of their opinions?
9. Are you affected by an inferiority complex?
10. Do you use big words to impress others, even if you don’t fully understand those words?
11. Do you express your own self-approval to cover your feeling of inferiority vs. others?
12. Is it one of your habits to boast about imaginary achievements, acting superior to cover up the fact that you actually feel inferior to others?
13. Are you trying to “keep up with X” and spend beyond your income?
14. Do you lack initiative?
15. Do you fail to embrace opportunities for self-advancement?
16. Are you afraid to express opinions?
17. Are you not confident in your own ideas?
18. Do you offer evasive answers when superiors ask you questions?
19. Are you acting deceiving in any way?
20. Do you lack ambition?
21. Are you mentally and / or physically lazy?
22. Do you lack the ability to just get of the couch and do what needs to be done?
23. Are you slow in reaching decisions?
24. Can others easily influence you?
25. Do you accept defeat without protest?
26. Are you quitting an undertaking when opposed by others?
27. Do you often criticize others behind their backs and flatter them to their faces?
28. Are you suspicious of other people without cause?
29. Are you unwilling to accept the blame for the mistakes?

Assess yourself against these questions honestly. If you find that you have these symptoms, make it a habit to notice them in your daily routine, in order to avoid them.

How to defeat the fear of criticism

You can defeat the fear of criticism by reaching a decision not to worry about what other people think, do or say. On the contrary, it is best that you focus on your own goals and your plan to reach them.

If you are the one criticizing other people you should replace this habit by constructive suggestion (Replace “You’ve done this and that wrong!” with “I think you could do this in this way”). So, don’t assign blame, focus on offering solutions. It is important that you analyze failures, but the purpose of that is to learn valuable lessons. Only people who don’t work don’t make mistakes.

Example of constructive thinking

An experienced employee of a major company was pretty successful at his job until he made a mistake that cost the company 10 million dollars. The CEO called the employee to his office. The employee expectation was, of course, that he would get fired from his job.

In the CEO’s office, there were a few key questions asked:

“Do you understand what you did wrong?

Do you have a plan on how you will avoid such mistakes in the future?”

Once they clarified what happened, the CEO asked the employee to resume his job and implement his plan. Please note that the focus was on facts, not on blame.

When he asked why he was not to be fired, the CEO replied: “We’ve just invested 10 million dollars in your education. I expect you to put this education to good work in your next tasks.” 

By not criticizing the employee, but offering the chance to learn from mistakes, the CEO enabled this employee to perform at his highest level. Why don’t you do the same when you encounter other people’s mistakes?

Please check out the other posts related to overcoming fears here.